Werelife
by The Naz
Summary: A look at what Remus faced underground among the other werewolves. HBP spoilers.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: A look at what Remus faced underground among the other werewolves. HBP spoilers!

Disclaimer, I'm not JKR and never will be, any characters, places and/or situations you recognise belong to her and the people at WB, not me, I'm just a fan.

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** Werelife**

As Remus sat under a patchy blanket, he tried to picture he was somewhere else, somewhere with Sirius preferably but almost anywhere was better than here. Icy air came gusting in through the makeshift door of his hopefully temporary home, whirling all around the room and scattering papers everywhere. With a deep sigh he got up, neatly folding the blanket and began collecting the papers. The one on top was a smudged letter from Nymphadora Tonks, a painful reminder that he needed to come clean to her; most of the others were from his sister who insisted that they always keep in touch even though they hadn't actually seen each other since their mother's funeral. He then located the ornamental lock box he kept under the mattress where he stored the letters that weren't supposed to be found but needed to be kept, mostly from Dumbledore and Moody, and decided to throw these ones in with the others, because he was too exhausted to be neat.

"Come, come I have more news from the Dark Lord, he who will give us werewolves our deserved place in the world!" a raspy voice called, the howl like tone was Fenrir Greyback's signature, his voice was never confused with another.

Sighing again, Remus went outside to listen to the speech even though he knew it would be like all the others, it was his assignment for the Order, he had no choice. A large throng had gathered in the square around Fenrir, men and women; children and the elderly; even wizard and muggle, all staring up at Greyback who looked over all their heads as he stood on a barrel, holding his chin high in a noble manner.

"Brothers, sisters I have just returned from a meeting with the Dark Lord. It seems a once loyal wizarding family no longer wants anything to do with him. Foolish people, foolish people with two sons." As Fenrir said this Remus could almost see him drooling. "The Dark Lord has given us a gift, with the information he has given us we can easily track those boys and make them our own. Robert Stark has been given this mission, for his well-lead raid of the muggle town outside the woods. No survivors, again highly successful." A few in the crowd let out a cheer at Grayback's last remark but most just stared up at the man on the barrel. They feared him, and those who didn't worshipped him in a crazed fashion.

Remus knew that Greyback didn't believe that Voldemort would actually give them a better life after the war; he was hoping that the Dark Lord would finish off a lot of wizards for him so then he and his werewolf army could rise and rule supreme. Not that Fenrir would ever confide this in Remus, no he confided in Conan Dougall and a few select others. Dougall in turn relayed information to Remus.

When Remus first arrived at the werewolf colony he had expected to be the only spy there, the only one holding secret meetings trying to convince his fellow werewolves to join his side of the fight. Only after three weeks at the colony he received a letter from Dumbledore, telling him to seek out Dougall, an Irishman who was spying for his own government and had been for much time now. Dougall had spent years climbing Greyback's social ladder, fighting tooth and nail (sometimes literally) to get to where he was now.

The underground colony had been Remus' home since Sirius's death; in some way he was glad he couldn't return to Grimauld Place, it held too many memories and false hopes. Remus seriously regretted not having proper time to mourn like he did after the Potters murder. That time he set aside a month to make a scrapbook with pictures from his own collection and from other friends of the Potters; now there was no time to make a scrap book, too few pictures to make it from and Remus couldn't see himself giving it to Harry even if he could make one.

While Remus set about to drown in his thoughts, and halfheartedly listen to Greyback spew lies Conan Dougall moved skillfully through the tightly packed crowd to stand behind Remus. Until the hairs on the back of his neck pricked up and he turned around to look, Remus hadn't even noticed that Dougall had moved from his spot on the opposite side of the crowd.

"I'll tell you what he's going to say and more. Follow me," he said to a still slightly thunderstruck Remus. Turning quickly he began ducking in and out of the crowd with insane grace, leaving Remus to stumble through, excusing himself every few steps. He reached his home panting and followed Dougall inside. Seeing the other man scan the room quickly with his keen eyes made Remus happy he had cleaned up before leaving, not that Dougall would care. His home in the tunnel system had a thick layer of something that could only be described as "stuff" covering every inch of the floor and most of the other surfaces. He was really checking for eavesdroppers and monitoring systems. Having scanned to room and deemed it safe to speak he did so.

"He is saying nothing much new, the same crap he has been feeding us for a while," he began. "But Dumbledore may be interested to know that you know who isn't trying very hard to get Malfoy out of the Azkaban and that he is using his son Draco for something. I didn't get anymore because by then Fenrir was so bollixed he passed out." Both men wrinkled their noses in distaste.

"Thank you," Remus said politely and inclined his head. "Alastor Moody had something in his last letter I was supposed to tell you. Let me find it."

He pulled the box he kept the letters in out from under the mattress and placed it on the table. Gently, he lifted the lid and placed the letters that he knew weren't from Moody to the side. As Remus ferreted through the box Dougall looked over his shoulder at the letters, he then grabbed one off the top of the stack that Remus had placed to the side.

"Have you got yourself a girl, Lupin?" he asked with more interest than he was showing for his job.

"That is a personal matter, Mr. Dougall," Remus said gruffly, he did _not_ want to talk about Tonks.

"You could bring her you know," Dougall continued as if Remus hadn't spoken. "All you'd have to do was bite her." Dougall said this with such ease that it made Remus sick to his stomach.

Dougall had been living in the colony since he was sixteen, only a few months after he was bitten. When his government had first asked him to spy in the camp Fenrir wasn't yet connected with Voldemort, they just wanted to keep an eye on such a large gathering of werewolves. Looking at Dougall Remus could see what happened to someone after living for so long in the colony. All this happened because the government practically forced people, most of whom with no crimes other than being bitten into exile, a depressing thing to contemplate.

A wave of sympathy swept over Remus, he forgot his anger with Dougall and handed the older man the letter from Moody. After scanning the letters Dougall looked up and saw Remus giving him a piteous look.

"Don't pity me," he said gruffly. "There is no need to. Your life with the 'normal' people wasn't a frolic in a field. I, at least, had food, shelter, warm clothing and other comforts. Can you say you had these things, Lupin?"

"No, I can't," Remus answered truthfully.

"Don't think you are the only one who had a family and a proper upbringing. I was raised by wizards just like you; I have morals."

"I never said that or thought anything of the sort."

"If that's true then why do you waste your pity on me?"

"I'd rather not-" Remus began before he was interrupted by Dougall.

"I rather you would." A forceful scowl was now fixed on Dougall's face. His feral green-brown eyes fixed on Remus's tranquil amber ones.

Remus knew he mustn't show any fear of the large man staring him down, that would make him submissive to Dougall. Being compliant to another colony member just once gave them power until the two fought it out and the one who had first complied won. With that in mind he stood his ground and starred back but was careful not to give Dougall the impression he wanted a brawl.

"Lupin, I will tell you something about the governments we are defending, and you will listen and listen good," Dougall growled not letting his stare falter for a millisecond. Remus nodded. "The governments don't do squat for us. They don't give a damn about us. The laws the pass should show you that. The people there are heartless." He paused and studied Remus for while letting him stew in the unwieldy tension. "Now you want to know why I am on their side then, right?" He asked and continued without a pause. "I joined up because I was naïve enough to believe that they do their best to make the laws for all. I wanted out once I came here; I wanted to go back to the 'civilized' world. I only voluntarily stayed after Fenrir joined up with you-know-who. I realized that when you-know-who disposes of Greyback, as he obviously will when can't use him anymore, Fenrir's followers, the people who want revenge on the government and the ones they can bully into following them, the loyal ones that give werewolves a bad name; they will fight both the Death Eaters and the government. A lot of senseless killing making it harder for either side to win. Quite frankly I would rather live without both of the groups but that will never happen, I know it so I'm left to choose the lesser of two evils." With that he gave Remus one last look and left.

As the hem of Dougall's jacked whipped out the door Remus let go of the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. When he had signed up for the Order, fresh out of school, he could have never imagined the sticky, knotted, black-widow filled web he had thrown himself into.

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While writing this I was very torn between following Remus around for the whole of HBP or ending it here. If you want more, tell me in a review, but I will warn you that there will probably be long gaps of time between chapters since I have alot of school work, this chapter took me about two weeks if that gives you any idea. I would really like to know how you liked it, or how you didn't like it, how it could be improved or anything you want to say at all is appreciated. 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Anything you recognise belongs to JKR and the people at WB, I'm just a fan

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Chapter Two, Part I

Thick drops of rain plopped onto the leaf litter in front of Remus as he sat against the cave wall looking out at the freedom of the forest. Not until he came up to the mouth of the cave had he noticed the oppressive thickness of the air inside the underground colony. He remembered when he had first come through the woods; the trunks had seemed like the bars on a cage, closing in around him, as if they, rather than his duty were keeping him from turning around and fleeing. Now they seemed open and inviting, calling him towards his freedom. With a great sigh Remus tamed the captive creature in his chest, got up and wiped his hands on his slacks before turning to head back inside.

Only a hundred feet in the tunnel the sent of clean rain and damp pine could no longer find his nose. The heavy odors of the overpopulated colony had wrestled them and won and were getting stronger by the step. Remus made to turn his head and look out the cave mouth one last time but snapped it back forward at the sound of several pattering feet. A small girl with midnight black hair that streamed out behind her as she sped past him, and shrieked with laughter. After her came a boy with bowl cut hair, the same color as the girl's, his grey eyes wide as he pumped his arms to catch up with her.

Remus closed his eyes and shivered as the wind that stirred in their wake whipped around him. When he opened his eyes again it was all he could do not to jump back with fright as two savage, glowing orbs that reminded Remus more of nightmares than eyes fixing their gaze on him. The heavy, balmy breaths that landed somewhere around Remus's ear gave passage to a second chill, and let it dance merrily up his spine.

"Lupin," Fenrir rasped, his face twisting obscenely into what he must have thought was a smile. "I've been looking for you."

"R-really? You have?" Remus felt his voice falter but couldn't stop it.

"Yes," Greyback hissed. "I just recently realized that you haven't been out raiding since you came. You have to provide to be a member of the pack." He spit the last word at Remus so it almost sounded like a bark.

Remus regained his self-control as quickly as he could manage before he spoke. "Really? I thought I went on one last week."

"You signed up Lupin, but you didn't show." A toothy grin crawled up Greyback's features, exposing his stained, razor-like teeth.

_He's watching me_, Remus realized, _he must think I'm a threat_. That revelation evoked not only fear but some kind of sick pleasure in him. "Well then, when can I sign up for the next one?"

"Now," Greyback answered smugly, raising his grubby left eyebrow up a few millimeters on his forehead. He also slowly shifted his hands that were formerly hugging his elbows to now grabbing his upper arms right above the elbow joint, leaving marks in his skin with his claw-like nails. "We'll leave now, up through the mother-wolf's throat." Greyback referred to the cave system as 'the mother-wolf', to him the colony meeting area literally was the belly of the beast.

"Alright, after you," Remus said, looking as confident at possible he made a swooping gesture towards the woods above.

Grunting, Greyback nodded curtly and prowled up the tunnel towards the soft clunking of the drizzling rain. As Remus followed he studied Fenrir's back, as if it would tell him the answer to a question that had been floating in his head for some time but he dared not ask. He desperately wanted to know how Greyback felt towards the werewolf who had bitten him; Remus felt sorry for whoever bit him but he didn't think Greyback capable of feeling sympathy for someone. Remus had yet to figure out if it was the crazy man's love or hate of what he was to drive him to his current extreme.

A cold droplet plopping onto his eyelid made Remus aware that he was outside. Out of habit, he filled his lungs as completely as he could with the fresh air of outside and savored the added taste of rain in his nose. As he let the breath out, loudly, the little girl from before giggled and whispered something to her brother who has now acquired a pike on which he was leaning. The boy obviously fancied himself as imposing with the long weapon grasped between his all too small fingers. Remus was appalled, two _children_ were being brought on a raid, and not only that, one of them was given a weapon. It took all of his self control to stop himself from ripping the pike from the boy's hands and telling him and his sister to go home to their mother.

Slowly people started coming out of the cave, most in small clusters. Conan Dougall came by himself; he strolled up and stood next to Remus, making no sign that he remembered their strife. One of the last people to emerge from the depths of the cave was Robert Stark.

When he walked the mangled, rusty saber swung on his hip, threatening to maul someone with its scabbardless blade. Stark made a show of swinging it dangerously near Dougall with a mocking grin. The Irishman snorted and pulled a hunting knife out from his boot while rolling his eyes. He then displayed the knife proudly to Stark whose eyes grew wide for a second but then he suddenly gained an unimpressed expression.

Other men and women came over and began comparing weapons with Stark and Dougall while they waited for the completely stock still Greyback to say something. Remus slowly inched away from the forming crowed, making his way towards the children who were now standing all alone. The boy's pike was resting in the leaf litter at his feet and a worn faded- blue blanket had replaced its position in the child's clutches.

"You breathe funny," the girl told Remus when she saw him. "Like this." She scrunched her eyes, got up on her tip-toes and with exaggerated arm movements sucked as much air into her lungs as possible before falling back down to her normal size and letting it all out in one large gust.

"That was very well done little miss." Remus smiled. "I like the fresh air, it makes me feel free," he told her.

"It smells weird," the little boy said, wrinkling his nose.

These children were most likely born in the colony, or else moved there when they were too small to remember the smell of fresh air or any life outside the colony at all. Both of them were much too young to even have been thought about when Greyback wasn't in power. They intrigued Remus; they made him wonder if that because they were born into this life did they think it acceptable or did they want something more.

"Sir?" the little boy asked. "The boys my mummy said we're goanna bring back with us, will they get hurt?"

"Boys?" Remus asked, he thought that the raid was for food.

The girl nodded. "Yes Sir, the boys Greyback said the You-know-who gave us."

Remus swore loudly and quickly excused himself.

"Dougall!" he called out to his fellow spy. "Dougall," he said again, this time into his ear. "I need to talk to you."

Seeing the traumatized look on Remus's face Conan slipped his knife back in its ornamental horn sheath and shoved it back into his boot. He placed his hand on Remus's right shoulder blade and led him over to a tree.

"Yes?" he asked

"Did you know that this raid party intends to kidnap a pair of innocent children? It's outrageous; I thought it was going to be a food raid. They are bad enough but at least they are _necessary_," Remus blurted and a rough whisper.

"Of course, you must be really naive to think that old Fenrir would give up the chance to get two new recruits just because it's not morally sound. That's why I signed up. I brought the knife along incase I need to subdue someone who is putting those boys in danger for their lives," Dougall answered. "A good idea you had there looking after those other pups over there." He motioned his head towards the little girl and her brother. "You should keep an eye on them; make sure they aren't too scarred when this is all over."

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Thanks for the reviews Vilya0, FireChildSlytherin5, and Reggie. All of you made my life. Thanks to anyone who read. I'll get Part II up when I can.  



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